I don’t have my own biological children so I might seem as the most unqualified person to be writing this article. However, when I look around, I can’t help but wonder whether parenting skills vanished with a generation. There seems to be such a lax approach to parenting in today’s age; I call it parenting by default. This is where parents allow their children to do anything and everything without a consideration of its effects, well,  until they hit a crisis.

Retrospectively, there are also many who are practising intentional parenting. This is an approach that is well thought out and goal oriented, where things don’t happen by chance and decisions are not made on a spur of the moment. This type of parenting takes time and is totally proactive and pre-planned with a careful thinking through what would be most beneficial to the children. The parents look down the road to what is really important and map a way to get there.

As a believer, one must parent under an intentional mindset. This intentional mindset demands some hard decisions and some positive stubbornness that can stand up against the current of popular opinion. Moreover, that mindset should characterise all that we give our children—spiritually, physically, socially, mentally, emotionally, and practically.

I and my four siblings were raised by a mother whose style of parenting was very intentional. I believe her goal was to raise strong Christians with  godly characters who would be able to withstand life’s pressures through their relationship with God. She totally committed to this goal and  did everything she could to protect our hearts and direct us in the right path “whether we liked it or not”.

Her method was through building a relationship by spending time interacting with us in order to learn directly from watching her. From home skills, to character, to extra-curricular activities…she was present. She would also use a knowledge based concept where we would wake up early in the morning and she would teach and instruct us through the words of God in the Bible. She shared her faith with us daily and pointed to God in every situation. What a process…?? Super effective!!

Moreover, she would not entertain deviant behaviour and would stop us on our tracks through various methods of correction and discipline such as is recorded in Proverbs 23:13-14. This would immediately cut off the root of  the bad behaviour.

God has called parents to that effective kind of teaching. In Deuteronomy 6:7 He tells us to teach our children diligently using the relationship-based model: “when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Parents, you are on assignment from God! You are called to develop deliberate relationships with the children He has entrusted to you. Those relationships build an avenue for effectively imparting wisdom and preparing your children to be godly adults.

I know we are pressed for time nowadays. However, what I have realised is that if you commit your godly desires to God, He makes a way for you to accomplish them…it’s a given! For it’s not by might, nor by power but by the Spirit of God!

In conclusion, God tells us in Proverbs 22:6 that if we intentionally parent our children, they would grow up into adults following the right intended path. Therefore, be encouraged that your investment in your children will never be in vain!

God bless you as you intentionally parent! 🙂